Despite being diagnosed with an auto-immune disease called Dermatomyositis (DM) in 2011, I have to say I can appreciate certain aspects that have come from it. To clarify, Dermatomyositis (dur-muh-toe-my-uh-SY-tis) is an uncommon inflammatory disease marked by muscle weakness and a distinctive skin rash. In many ways it has been devastating…that is if I let it be.
When I first found out I had DM I was extremely angry. I couldn’t believe that as strong, healthy & active as I had been all my life, that I could possibly be restricted by a diagnosis. This was supposed to happen to sedentary people who were content with being in a house, on a couch or in a recliner. This couldn’t be!
I was in denial until DM’s affects further disabled me and forced me to accept that I did indeed have this relentless disease. I became very weak, very tired and very determined to find a way out of this tangled up mess. I wouldn’t let an indeterminate answer go without researching more, finding more motivated health care providers, looking up organizations for the autoimmune inflicted and prayer.
Well, that last word ” prayer” was one source of help that should have been FIRST! Because God was the only thing that remained never changing. My skin has changed, my muscles have atrophied to the point that when I look at my limbs I don’t recognize them. My energy level has changed, my social life has changed but God has ALWAYS stayed close and been there to talk to, to cry out to, to beg, to comfort me, encourage me, and give me His Word.
At first, His message wasn’t that easy to understand. I was angry at Him too. But through time I am learning to be patient and to persevere. I know that the way He answers prayers may not be how I wish it could be exactly, but I also know it will be the best for me in His plan. So I’m growing my faith and it’s comforting to know that I can crawl into the Word with God as though it is a warm blanket that saves me from being cold and lonely.
I praise Him for drawing me nearer. I thank Him for making me more empathizing with those who have it much worse than I do. I thank Him for forcing me to slow down and care about what’s going on in other peoples lives. I’m grateful for working less at an office and more on loving myself and my family. I’m thankful for prayer time. I’m happy to have time to focus on what He says to me when asking Him to restore my health.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” ~Philippians 4:6
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